Can PerfectionismTherapy Help Me with Perfectionism and How Do I Choose One?

Choosing the right therapeutic approach to tackle perfectionism can feel overwhelming. Especially for women weighed down by high standards and harsh self-criticism. It's not just the pressure to find a solution. It's the emotional exhaustion of deciding what will help. As a woman struggling with perfectionism, it’s common to feel like there’s no clear path to healing. That uncertainty can make it even harder to seek support from a therapist for perfectionism in Calgary. But you’re not alone in feeling confused or stuck. This process can be challenging, and it’s okay to take time to explore what resonates with you.

Understanding the different perfectionism counselling approaches is crucial. Perfectionism is often rooted in deep emotional wounds or childhood experiences. It doesn’t just affect how you work or strive. Rather, it touches every aspect of life. From your relationships to your sense of self-worth. Whether perfectionism is linked to early relational trauma, self-esteem, or societal pressures, it’s important to know that you have options for healing that can be tailored to your unique experiences.

This Blog Post Will Explore Various Treatment Methods.

PhD psychologists and MD psychiatrists recommend a variety of treatment approaches for perfectionism counselling. From therapies like CBT to trauma-focused methods like EMDR and the Flash Technique. Each offers distinct benefits in addressing the complex layers of perfectionism. We’ll break down each one to help you understand how they work. Additionally, we will guide you in considering which might be the best fit for you. Let's unpack these approaches. I want you to feel empowered to take the next step toward healing.

Non-Trauma-Focused Treatment Approaches

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT is a well-researched, structured approach. One that focuses on changing negative thought patterns and behaviors that perpetuate perfectionism. It helps people find and change their unrealistic thoughts and beliefs that are harmful. It teaches people how to replaces them with healthier, more adaptive ways of thinking. Typically, CBT lasts between 8-20 sessions over 2-5 months, and can provide relatively quick results.

• Pros: Evidence-based, structured, short-term, and practical.

• Cons: Often may not address deeper emotional or trauma-related issues.

Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)

MBCT combines traditional CBT techniques with mindfulness practices. This is to help individuals become more aware of their thoughts without judgment. It can help perfectionists recognize and let go of their need for control and self-criticism. Treatment often runs for about 8 weeks with weekly sessions.

• Pros: Effective for managing stress and anxiety; encourages self-awareness and acceptance.

• Cons: Requires a commitment to mindfulness practices, which can be challenging in both time and the emotions and content that surfaces for some.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT focuses on accepting emotions and thoughts. It does not try to change or control them. It helps individuals live according to their values rather than striving for perfection. Sessions typically range from 8-16 over a period of a few months.

• Pros: Promotes flexibility and value-based living, reduces pressure to be perfect.

• Cons: Can be difficult for individuals who are uncomfortable with emotional acceptance.

Psychodynamic Therapy

Psychodynamic therapy explores how unconscious emotions, childhood experiences, and relationships contribute to perfectionism. It is often longer-term, lasting 1-2 years or more, with weekly or bi-weekly sessions.

• Pros: Deep exploration of emotional and relational roots of perfectionism.

• Cons: Can be time-intensive, too abstract for some, and can take years for some to see significant change.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)

DBT combines cognitive-behavioral techniques with mindfulness practices. It is focused on emotional regulation and interpersonal effectiveness. It’s especially helpful for perfectionists who experience high levels of emotional stress. DBT usually runs for 6 months to a year.

• Pros: Skills-based, focuses on managing emotions and reducing distress.

• Cons: Requires significant time commitment and intensive practice.

Medication

In cases where perfectionism is linked to anxiety, depression, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), medications like SSRIs or anxiolytics may be prescribed. Medication is usually a long-term option and requires regular monitoring by a psychiatrist.

• Pros: Quick relief of anxiety and depressive symptoms that fuel perfectionism.

• Cons: Does not address root causes of perfectionism, potential side effects.

Self-Compassion Training

This approach involves learning to treat yourself with kindness and understanding. This helps to reduce self-criticism and the need for perfectionism. It can be integrated into various therapeutic methods, typically over 8-12 weeks.

• Pros: Encourages self-kindness, easy to integrate into daily life.

• Cons: Requires self-discipline and can be difficult for those with deep-seated self-esteem issues or where the anxiety is too high.

Group Therapy

Group therapy is a supportive space to share and learn about perfectionism. It generally consists of 8-12 sessions, though some groups are open-ended.

• Pros: Reduces isolation, provides peer support.

• Cons: Some may feel uncomfortable sharing in a group setting.

Behavioral Activation

This approach focuses on engaging in meaningful activities to reduce perfectionistic behaviors. It is often over 8-12 sessions. It helps break the cycle of avoidance and procrastination linked to perfectionism.

• Pros: Practical and action-oriented, helps reduce avoidance behaviors.

• Cons: Does not address underlying emotional causes of perfectionism.

Family Therapy

Family therapy helps when family dynamics or parental expectations drive perfectionism. Treatment typically spans 8 to 20 sessions, and it involves the entire family in working through perfectionism-related issues.

• Pros: Addresses family dynamics that fuel perfectionism, holistic approach.

• Cons: Requires willingness and participation from all family members.

Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)

ERP is an effective approach for individuals with obsessive-compulsive tendencies tied to perfectionism. It involves gradually exposing clients to situations where imperfection is inevitable. This happens usually over 12-20 sessions.

• Pros: Reduces fear of failure and the need for control.

• Cons: Can be uncomfortable, as it requires facing distressing situations.

Trauma-Focused Treatment Approaches

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

EMDR helps individuals process and heal from traumatic memories that contribute to perfectionism. Evidence-based, treatment typically lasts 6-12 sessions for single traumas. It may take longer for more complex trauma.

• Pros: Quick processing of traumatic memories, less emotional overwhelm than traditional talk therapies.

• Cons: Requires a trained therapist, which can be a barrier to access.

The Flash Technique (FT)

The Flash Technique is a new evidence-based method for processing trauma designed to quickly reduce distress from traumatic memories. Especially for those overwhelmed by traditional trauma therapy. It involves rapid shifts between positive memories and brief "flashes" of trauma, without the client consciously focusing on distressing details. Treatment length varies, but can be as short as 15-20 minutes per memory, with some cases requiring more sessions.

• Pros: Reduces emotional distress rapidly, especially useful for trauma-related perfectionism. Gentle and less emotionally overwhelming than traditional trauma therapies.

• Cons: It is newer and so has limited research, is less available, and may need other therapies for long-term effects.

Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT)

TF-CBT integrates trauma processing with cognitive-behavioral techniques to manage perfectionism. Treatment usually lasts 12-25 sessions, making it a relatively short-term trauma therapy.

• Pros: Balances trauma processing with practical skills for managing perfectionism.

• Cons: Some individuals may find trauma work emotionally challenging.

Attachment-Based Therapy

Attachment-based therapy focuses on healing the relational wounds that often underlie perfectionism. It tends to be a longer-term approach, typically lasting 1 year or more.

• Pros: Addresses the root causes of perfectionism stemming from attachment issues.

• Cons: Can be time-intensive and emotionally demanding.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

IFS helps individuals identify different “parts” of themselves. These contribute to perfectionism, such as the “perfectionist part” or the “wounded child.” Treatment length varies from 10-20 sessions to over a year for more complex cases.

• Pros: Promotes self-integration and healing of fragmented parts.

• Cons: Progress may be slow, requires introspection.

Somatic Experiencing (SE)

SE aims to resolve trauma stored in the body. It can help with perfectionism linked to anxiety or tension. Treatment typically lasts 12-20 sessions but can extend for more severe trauma.

• Pros: Addresses both emotional and physical aspects of trauma, reduces anxiety-related perfectionism.

• Cons: May not feel as action-oriented or structured as other therapies.

Attachment-Focused EMDR

This variation of EMDR specifically targets attachment wounds that drive perfectionism. It can take 12-24 sessions or more for complex attachment trauma.

• Pros: Combines EMDR with attachment healing, effective for relational trauma.

• Cons: Requires a skilled therapist trained in both EMDR and attachment theory.

Narrative Therapy

Narrative therapy helps people reframe their life story. This can reduce the need for perfectionism. Treatment often lasts 8-20 sessions. It may take longer to change deeply held narratives.

• Pros: Empowers individuals to reshape their personal stories, focusing on strengths.

• Cons: May not directly address the physiological effects of trauma.

Ego-State Therapy

This therapy focuses on healing fragmented parts of the self. This can help reduce trauma-rooted perfectionism. Treatment can be short-term (10-20 sessions) or longer-term for more complex trauma.

• Pros: Helps integrate different parts of the self, promotes emotional healing.

• Cons: Requires a high level of introspection, progress may be slower.

Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT)

CFT focuses on building self-compassion, which directly targets the self-criticism that drives perfectionism. Typically, treatment lasts 12-24 sessions, with ongoing personal practice.

• Pros: Reduces shame and self-criticism, promotes self-acceptance.

• Cons: Can be difficult for individuals who struggle to accept compassion.

Sensorimotor Psychotherapy

Sensorimotor psychotherapy integrates body-based techniques with talk therapy. This is to address perfectionism rooted in trauma. Treatment may last 12-20 sessions or longer for severe trauma.

• Pros: Addresses both emotional and physical aspects of perfectionism and trauma.

• Cons: Requires a trained therapist, which may limit accessibility.

Relational Therapy

Relational therapy focuses on healing the interpersonal dynamics that contribute to perfectionism. It is typically longer-term, lasting 6 months to a year.

• Pros: Addresses perfectionism related to relational wounds and interpersonal dynamics.

• Cons: Requires emotional openness and vulnerability, which can be difficult for perfectionists.

Prolonged Exposure Therapy (PET)

PET is a structured approach. It gradually exposes individuals to traumatic memories and situations. Treatment usually lasts 8-15 sessions.

• Pros: Reduces avoidance and helps individuals confront distressing memories.

• Cons: Emotionally intense, may not be suitable for individuals with severe trauma.

The Way I Work

In my practice, as a therapist for perfectionism in Calgary, I often work with high-functioning women. Women who may be adept at engaging in cognitive-behavioral techniques. This can include identifying, naming, and challenging distorted thinking patterns. Yet, many of these women may still find that, despite this, their somatic experience remains unchanged. They still feel tension, anxiety, or discomfort in their bodies even after completing the CBT-informed steps.

CBT offers helpful coping strategies. But, these methods often feel temporary. Over time, the women I work with become exhausted from relying on these coping tools.

They realize they are spending their energy managing symptoms, not healing deep wounds. The ones driving their perfectionism. Over time, they express a desire to move beyond coping. They want to focus on healing the underlying trauma or attachment wounds. This is where trauma-focused approaches become essential, as they target the root causes of their perfectionism in perfectionism counselling. This can bring deep, lasting change. It can relieve the strain of just "getting by.”

Resources

Below are some additional resources about some of the therapeutic approaches discussed. Particularly those with an emphasis on addressing trauma and relational wounds as core drivers of perfectionism:

1. Shapiro, F. (2017). Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures.
   This foundational text on EMDR therapy outlines the core principles and techniques used to address trauma, including its application in treating perfectionism rooted in relational and attachment trauma.

1. Manfield, P., Lovett, J., Engel, L., & Manfield, D. (2017). Use of the Flash Technique in EMDR Therapy: Four Case Examples. Journal of EMDR Practice and Research, 11(4), 195–205.
   This study provides insight into the Flash Technique, which is especially effective for clients dealing with trauma-related perfectionism, as it allows for quick reduction of emotional distress without needing to fully relive traumatic experiences.

1. Brown, B. (2006). Shame Resilience Theory: A Grounded Theory Study on Women and Shame. Families in Society, 87(1), 43–52.
   Brené Brown's research focuses on the role of shame and vulnerability, which are closely tied to perfectionism. This study explains how unresolved shame, often linked to early relational trauma, can fuel perfectionism, and offers insights into healing through therapeutic intervention.

How Perfectionism Counselling in Calgary Heals Underlying Trauma

At my private practice, I am a PhD psychologist and therapist for perfectionism. I use trauma-focused, attachment and body-focused treatment approaches as the main methods to address perfectionism. They heal the emotional wounds that often drive perfectionism. They go beyond just managing symptoms. For many women, perfectionism is not just about high standards. Perfectionism stems from unresolved trauma and wounds from past relationships or early attachment.

I focus on therapies like EMDR, Ego State Therapy, and the Flash Technique. I work with my clients to process and release their core traumas. This allows for deeper healing and lasting change, instead of just teaching coping strategies for their perfectionistic tendencies. Yet, I also recognize that every woman’s journey is unique. This is why I tailor treatment plans to incorporate other approaches, like Psychodynamic Therapy and DBT-informed Therapy when necessary. This ensures a compassionate and holistic path toward healing.

Work with a Therapist for Perfectionism in Calgary to Find Balance and Healing

If you’ve been struggling with perfectionism and feel like it’s holding you back in life, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. As a therapist for perfectionism, I specialize in supporting women like you - women who are feeling overwhelmed by high expectations or burdened by unresolved emotional wounds - by helping them heal and live more freely with perfectionism counselling. Together, through my Calgary-based practice, we’ll work through the root causes of your perfectionism, so you can embrace a more balanced, fulfilling life.

1. Reach out today to schedule an appointment

2. Schedule your first appointment for perfectionism counselling

3. Overcome perfectionism and live with greater freedom and self-compassion!

*All services are available virtually in Calgary and Edmonton. As well as anywhere in Alberta, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, and Nunavut.

About the Author Section

Dr. Easter Yassa, a Registered Psychologist in Calgary with over 20 years of experience and a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, specializes in helping women overcome perfectionism. She supports women, particularly those whose perfectionistic tendencies stem from trauma, in exploring the emotional roots of their struggles. In her warm and non-judgmental space, Dr. Yassa helps women release unrealistic expectations and develop a healthier, more compassionate sense of self. With her deep clinical experience and teaching background, she offers personalized therapeutic strategies to guide women in choosing the right path for their healing and thriving beyond perfectionism.

Other Online Therapy Services Offered in Alberta, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, & Nunavut

At IMatter, I provide a variety of services designed to support your mental health. Along with perfectionism counseling, I offer tailored therapy for women, HSPs, therapists, and more. Connect with me today to start your journey with online therapy!